Mickey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My doctor needed a stool, a ur-ine, a se-men and a blood sample. I gave him my underwear.
←Rate | 02-02-2017 10:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Dating" is an anachronistic, nebulous means of defining a relationship. All it means is both parties are duping each other into some degree of permanency. Wait...that's marriage. I meant marriage.
←Rate | 02-03-2017 07:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought Super Bowl LI was a Pho Soup special at a Vietnamese restaurant.
←Rate | 02-05-2017 10:58 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, If a guy mutes the volume during the Super Bowl when you sit down next to him, you need to do one thing. Marry him.
←Rate | 02-05-2017 13:08 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Polling showed 27% of the USA bet on Atlanta to win. Must've been conducted by CNN.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 09:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon White Americans killing off other Americans is a psychological issue, not an ideological one.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 11:56 by Mickey Comments (1)  


   messageicon For those of you who don't have a significant other to spend Valentine's Day with, kindly resist the temptation to brag about it.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 18:47 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throughout the 90's, during its infancy, the internet was referred to as the Information Superhighway. Little did we realize, that in such a short amount of time, it would become the Information Stupidhighway.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 10:12 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throughout the 90's, during its infancy, the internet was referred to as the Information Superhighway. Little did we realize, that in such a short amount of time, it would unfortunately become the Misinformation Stupidhighway.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 10:31 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is a terminal disease, that is sexually transmitted.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 13:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried killing a spider with a can of cheap hairspray. Now it smokes two packs a day, joined a bowling league, wears blue eye shadow and calls itself Brenda.
←Rate | 02-08-2017 20:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can't walk for a month.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 14:37 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've learned anything from social media, it's that we live on a planet that's disproportionately filled with inhabitants in possession of single digit IQ's.
←Rate | 02-16-2017 08:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanna meet me at Taco Bell? The Day Without Illegal Migrants means we'll get plenty of sauce packets and napkins.
←Rate | 02-17-2017 12:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sign at the florist's said, "Say It With Flowers." I go in and ordered one rose. The guy asks me if I'm cheap. I go, "No, I'm a man of few words."
←Rate | 02-18-2017 14:31 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have as much interest in golf as I have in golf.
←Rate | 03-01-2017 19:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
←Rate | 07-21-2017 10:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  



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