@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done…!!

   When i'm available no one texts me. But when i'm busy... BAM! ...still no one texts me !!!

   Tonight looks like a good night to do all the nothing I have planned! !!!

   After exercising I always eat a Pizza. Just Kidding, I don't exercise !!

   Call me lazy… but if it takes four clicks, I'm not reading it!!!!!

   I'm getting too old to drop it like it's hot, so I'm just gonna squat like its warm!!!

   It's one hEll of a crime if you're ugly with a bad attitude at the same time!!

   ......Update status, nobody likes?...... -_- (1) Deletes Facebook profile (2) Move to a next country (3) Change name (4) Start new life =)

   I'm sorry but if someone busted out of my birthday cake, they better have another cake in their hands because I really like cake. ....

   Hey Guys, I don't have Instagram but I just wanted to let you know that I had oatmeal for breakfast. No sugar, mixed with water.

   3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...

   ...Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!

   Everyone knows the way to a girl's heart on facebook is to like every picture and wall post she makes.

   2014 is so close I can almost taste the lips I will not be kissing on New Year's Eve

   That moment when you have so many things to do and decided to take a nap instead

   Oh, your in a relationship now? No more ‘LIKES’ for you!

   A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

   that annoying moment when you close the wrong tab

   The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

   I miss being able to slam my phone shut when I hang up on somebody. Violently pressing "end call" just doesn't do it for me