Eddy Funny Status Messages

   i only have 1 question for Bruce Jenner. after he becomes woman, will he change his name to "Jenny Brucer" ?

   If your Tupperware has "nutrition facts" on the side of the container, you might be a redneck

   today Obama signed the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)....is it still legal to tell my gf to make me a sandwich?

   ‎"im thankful the idiot with the gun was too drunk to aim "---living turkey

   I thought of going Amish once....I didn't have the WHEEL POWER to do it

   too bad Mr. Rogers isnt still alive to have facebook & do the games...then he really can be our neighbor

   forget Mardi Gras....for me every Tuesday is a fat Tuesday

   I like to be treated like a king... so I thought of going to Burger King & lying about it being my birthday

   automatic doors make me feel like a jedi

   I should just change my name to "Han" because it looks like I'm gonna stay solo *forever alone*

   im not lazy...my body is just an environmentalist that likes to conserve energy

   people get so mad at me in the self-checkout lane....i stand there checking myself out just like the name says. they say I take too long

   why is it when you go to a restaurant their radio is never playing the song "ding, fries are done" from family guy?...seems like a catchy tune for a restaurant

   theres too many car dealers around so I'm gonna go different... I'm gonna sell unicycles. i'll be the only one in the region so I'll get all the sales

   we stuff the turkey but in the end the turkey stuffs us

   i'm not an alcoholic, i'm a drunk... alcoholics go to meetings

   Why don't food companies put beets in boxes instead of cans? ...then the employees can say they're "professional beet boxers"

   if you burn the turkey, just tell the family they're eating blackbird

   am I watching The Weather Channel or Game of Thrones? it looks like winter is coming

   someone from Egypt sent me an e-mail asking me to wire them money. I think it was a pyramid scheme