Eddy Funny Status Messages

   i only have 1 question for Bruce Jenner. after he becomes woman, will he change his name to "Jenny Brucer" ?

   If your Tupperware has "nutrition facts" on the side of the container, you might be a redneck

   today Obama signed the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)....is it still legal to tell my gf to make me a sandwich?

   ‎"im thankful the idiot with the gun was too drunk to aim "---living turkey

   I thought of going Amish once....I didn't have the WHEEL POWER to do it

   too bad Mr. Rogers isnt still alive to have facebook & do the games...then he really can be our neighbor

   Why don't food companies put beets in boxes instead of cans? ...then the employees can say they're "professional beet boxers"

   if you burn the turkey, just tell the family they're eating blackbird

   when a friend messages you a GIF image for your birthday, is that a birthday GIFt ?

   am I watching The Weather Channel or Game of Thrones? it looks like winter is coming

   someone from Egypt sent me an e-mail asking me to wire them money. I think it was a pyramid scheme

   I collect memes like kids collect Pokemon cards. any good memes you want to trade?

   what do you call a group of short people on a merry-go-round? ...a midget spinner

   I've been social distancing from the gym for years

   I don't like WcDonald's....I prefer Mendy's

   If I was out there on a boat or scuba diving, It'd be "shart week" for me

   I'm sure the white house has leaks....it's an old building

   why is it when you go to a restaurant their radio is never playing the song "ding, fries are done" from family guy?...seems like a catchy tune for a restaurant

   theres too many car dealers around so I'm gonna go different... I'm gonna sell unicycles. i'll be the only one in the region so I'll get all the sales

   we stuff the turkey but in the end the turkey stuffs us