Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon What if NASCAR is really just rednecks saying "nice car"
←Rate | 02-11-2015 16:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don't have long to live.
←Rate | 02-08-2015 09:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kristen Stewart is like if Internet Explorer was a person.
←Rate | 02-02-2015 00:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The number of STDs she can spell without autocorrect really bothers me.
←Rate | 01-31-2015 09:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at "Hello"... But you lost me when you kept talking.
←Rate | 01-30-2015 00:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.
←Rate | 01-27-2015 12:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes I will disappoint you, but I will disappoint you with style.
←Rate | 01-25-2015 05:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure, I'll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
←Rate | 01-17-2015 11:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon T rolls used to live under bridges, now they live in their mom's basement.
←Rate | 01-16-2015 23:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is when two intelligent minds come together and become dumb.
←Rate | 01-06-2015 11:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't post pics of my girl and me on social media for a good reason. What if someone calls her ugly and I have to dump her?
←Rate | 12-28-2014 08:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 5 "Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 09:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear New Year New Me People; You don't have to wait for the New Year to get your sh*t together and become a better person.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon [wife yelling at me as I wash dishes] "keith I'm fkn sick of you pretending to be a doctor" [turns tap off using my elbow] what do you mean?
←Rate | 12-26-2014 10:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't have any girl to spoil for Christmas this year so my bank balance is looking healthy.
←Rate | 12-26-2014 07:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just sneezed alcohol onto a candle and started a fire.
←Rate | 12-25-2014 12:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Horoscope: Yes she got all your texts.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One day girl, all those flashing lights and sirens will be for us.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone called me lazy today I almost objected.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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