sully Funny Status Messages

   Listen. If you're ever asked if you've taken deer antler extract, "No. Never." isn't quite as convincing as "WTF is deer antler extract?"

   I would have gone to Clooney's fundraiser for Obama, but I spent my last $40,000 on gas.......

   Whoever decided to name this Halloween candy "fun" size is not someone I would care to party with. Just saying.......

   Don't worry guy's.... I just hung my 2013 calendar to protect us from the apocalypse. We should be good.

   I think the CDC Director needs to resign and let Dr. House save us all from Ebola.....

   In Honor Of Tonight's Debate, I Will Be Making "Obama Rolls".... They Consist Of A lot Of Hot Air, And Full Of Sh*t!

   has been celebrating Columbus Day by walking into my neighbors homes and telling them that I live there now.........

   FYI - Police say Boston Marathon bomber has been buried in undisclosed location. Hopefully wrapped in bacon with a Bible on his chest...

   Nick Wallenda would never fail a sobriety test.... WOW!!

   Be nice to your stalker. They just want to be loved...

   Wow, that's a nice looking pair of crocs!" - Said by no one. Ever.

   Daylight savings tonight.. Happy extra hour of drinking everyone!!!!

   The only people happier than NY gays tonight are NY divorce lawyers..........

   Hugo Chavez: First confirmed victim of sequester......

   Depending on whether I win the Mega Millions..... I'll either be having my birthday party this year at the Space Station or the local VFW. Standby

   Been teaching the grandkids about taxes at DQ by eating 38% of their ice cream.......

   What are the chances that someone on that missing plane has a volleyball?

   So...if yesterday was Black Friday, and today is Broke Saturday, then tomorrow must be Return everything Sunday?

   Obama's speech tonight: Me me me me I I I I me I me I me me me I my my me me I I my me. Oh, and I........

   God got kicked out of our schools and the devil walked right on in......