Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   Can't wait to see the look on my doctors face when he walks in the room and I'm already bent over the exam table!!!

   In the kitchen with the wife and she asked, "What's the expiration date on this?" "11/30" I said. She went to throw it away and I said, "What are you doing!!! It's not even NOON yet!!!"

   Times are short and Money is hard... Here's Your Effin Christmas Card!!!

   WTF.... (welcome to facebook)

   Phrases i'll never understand... #71 - "You better hunker down if you want to finish on time." Seriously? Hunker Down???

   My stock in Johnny Walker is through the roof!!!

   looʞs lıʞǝ ɟɐɔǝqooʞ ıs ɐʇ ıʇ ɐƃɐıu˙˙˙˙˙˙

   it wrong to put eggs in chicken salad? It just seems wrong...

   I'm at that stage of not showering where you develop a sort of detached, clinical interest in how bad you smell and seeing how much worse it can getting.

   WALL-MARTIANS... it's worth the trip

   It's so cool you can make Facebook PINK!!! said by no one, ever.

   been drinking since, wait... WHO STOLD MY WATCH???

   Farmers complaining about the drought. Why not just buy corn at the store??..... idiots

   Just landed my dream job of "before" picture!!!

   So you guys heard about this MySpace thing?

   always reads the Terms of Service before clicking install just like everyone else... right?

   Come on Issac, the convention is about to start, don't let us down.

   there's something about the people on Doomsday Planners that makes me think they're serious

   They say, "Don't Text and Drive" but I've had 3 maybe 4 texts all day so I'm good, right?

   it okay to text my kids not to come home cause i'm gonna do their mom? I mean, it is 2013... RIGHT?