Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note, "Don't eat me." Now there's an empty plate and a note, "Don't tell me what to do."
←Rate | 09-26-2010 15:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of YOUR OWN sentence. that way, they never suspect you hung up on them.
←Rate | 10-20-2010 10:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men would be way more excited about cleaning if spray bottles made a laser noise.
←Rate | 09-06-2011 15:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon And on the day that Pooh found out bacon tasted better than honey, we all knew Piglet's days were numbered.
←Rate | 08-17-2012 01:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we're not supposed to have late night snacks.. why is there a light in the fridge?
←Rate | 04-20-2010 19:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes... ;) :D :P
←Rate | 05-23-2010 21:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever said Diamond are a girls best friend........Obviously never bought one a detachable showerhead.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 14:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everybody deserves second chances, but not for the same mistakes.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 18:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Life, I have a complete grasp on the fact that you are not fair... so please quit teaching me that lesson.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 13:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie.
←Rate | 04-25-2012 23:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The show "Toddlers and tiaras" was named that way because "Strippers in training" and "Mothers with self esteem issues" just wasn't as catchy.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 12:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ya know those signs you see in towns that say, "Drive careful, we love our children?" Well DUH, you're not gonna see a sign that says, "GUN IT, WE'LL MAKE MORE!"
←Rate | 08-16-2011 18:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait 'til I'm rich enough to throw things away that accidentally fall in the toilet.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 15:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever mess anything up I am just gonna say, "It's not like I sung the national anthem wrong in front of the whole world or something."
←Rate | 02-07-2011 16:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't television shows say, "You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?"
←Rate | 09-04-2012 13:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Simple cure for childhood obesity: Ice Cream Trucks that don't Stop.
←Rate | 07-19-2012 15:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coming home drunk knocking things over and telling them to''shhhh!''
←Rate | 01-23-2013 20:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If this phone were really smart, it wouldn't let certain people call me.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 21:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon If someone ever tells you "we need to talk" they dont care about anything you have to say.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if the CEO of Classmates.com cries every time he sees the word "Facebook."
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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