Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If love is a battlefield then I keep dying in basic training.
←Rate | 03-20-2015 12:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't believe people still go to the gym when they can just post it as their status and go have ice cream instead.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 14:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to welcome visitors to my home with a warm, and sincere 'Goodbye'.
←Rate | 06-19-2013 14:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so unsettling meeting a baby with a grown man's name. No I don't want to hold Grant but can he look over my investment portfolio for me
←Rate | 05-27-2016 13:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
←Rate | 02-12-2017 08:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m sorry my dog nipped your ankles, but in all fairness you do have squirrels on your socks.
←Rate | 01-14-2018 06:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother taught me to never argue with strangers on the Internet. She said I must agree to meet them in real life, and then punch them in the face.
←Rate | 02-26-2018 13:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its already too late for some of you ladies to find Mr Right and I would advise you to just settle for Mr. What's Left or you will die alone.
←Rate | 07-15-2013 15:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You call it a "one night stand," I call it "catch and release."
←Rate | 12-02-2013 06:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brain: Let’s dance. Legs: We don’t do that. Tequila: Just give it a minute.
←Rate | 01-27-2014 08:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is the worst carnival ever. I can't believe they blocked the street off for this. Sir, this is a crime scene.
←Rate | 05-12-2015 13:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kanye West blows out candles on a birthday cake he wishes it was his birthday, instead of whoever's party he's at.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
←Rate | 02-16-2015 11:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 5 "Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 09:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently, I tip hotel maids by forgetting my iPhone charger every time I check out. Every. Single. Time.
←Rate | 03-12-2014 14:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
←Rate | 09-17-2014 14:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my brain has too many tabs open.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 11:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “You make me a better person.” - Me talking to my cup of coffee.
←Rate | 06-24-2014 01:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "She's cute I swear, let me find a better picture." – Me telling my friends about my new girlfriend.
←Rate | 04-14-2014 13:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad how an animal like a dog shows more humanity than humans do.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 23:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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