Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's so depressing how the <3 symbol looks like someone dropped their ice cream cone.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 09:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Liver: The holidays are almost over. Come on you can do this!
←Rate | 12-31-2013 13:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The number of STDs she can spell without autocorrect really bothers me.
←Rate | 01-31-2015 09:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people solely exist to test your patience and self-control.
←Rate | 02-15-2014 06:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Liquor stores should deliver to do their part to help with the drunk driving problem.
←Rate | 11-09-2013 13:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I listen to gangsta rap sprinkled with a little Adele. Will I murder you? Will I buy you a puppy? You never know.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 23:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you decide to walk a mile in my shoes, it will likely just be a mile of circles looking for the remote.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 12:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if NASCAR is really just rednecks saying "nice car"
←Rate | 02-11-2015 16:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who claim their favorite TV show is Keeping Up With The Kardashians, are just confessing they'll give blow jobs for a shopping spree.
←Rate | 06-21-2014 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian is back in the studio, working on an album? She's turning her sex tape into a musical?
←Rate | 06-22-2014 06:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just looking for a reason not to drink
←Rate | 10-30-2014 15:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a freak.
←Rate | 04-08-2014 00:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you say Snoop Dogg's name three times in the mirror, your weed will disappear.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 11:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm bored but not "correct people's grammar on Facebook" bored.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 12:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At this rate, it's starting to seem like Americans will be voting on which candidate to keep out of jail in November.
←Rate | 10-09-2016 01:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn't work here.
←Rate | 07-13-2016 13:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women have designer purses because they need something stylish to carry their crazy in.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 13:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have as much sex as possible while you're still single. You can abstain when you get married.
←Rate | 12-10-2015 10:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with alcohol is that that... it wears off.
←Rate | 12-09-2013 06:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I give great marriage advice if you want to be divorced.
←Rate | 01-08-2014 07:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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