Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Apparently, I tip hotel maids by forgetting my iPhone charger every time I check out. Every. Single. Time.
←Rate | 03-12-2014 14:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "She's cute I swear, let me find a better picture." – Me telling my friends about my new girlfriend.
←Rate | 04-14-2014 13:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my brain has too many tabs open.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 11:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “You make me a better person.” - Me talking to my cup of coffee.
←Rate | 06-24-2014 01:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad how an animal like a dog shows more humanity than humans do.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 23:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fastest way to confuse a woman is to tell her she looks great now that she's gained a couple of pounds.
←Rate | 09-26-2013 15:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's totally ok to create a Facebook account for your pet, provided you have severe mental retardation.
←Rate | 05-27-2013 12:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now I totally understand why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up!
←Rate | 06-04-2013 01:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coworker: I saw you at Starbucks this morning but didn't say hi Me: Thanks
←Rate | 07-15-2015 13:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's still so much I have to unlearn.
←Rate | 12-18-2014 23:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kinda woman has more sex swings than mood swings.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 02:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so depressing how the <3 symbol looks like someone dropped their ice cream cone.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 09:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Liver: The holidays are almost over. Come on you can do this!
←Rate | 12-31-2013 13:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The number of STDs she can spell without autocorrect really bothers me.
←Rate | 01-31-2015 09:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I wanted human interaction i'd take my headphones off during this date.
←Rate | 10-25-2017 15:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people solely exist to test your patience and self-control.
←Rate | 02-15-2014 06:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Liquor stores should deliver to do their part to help with the drunk driving problem.
←Rate | 11-09-2013 13:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I listen to gangsta rap sprinkled with a little Adele. Will I murder you? Will I buy you a puppy? You never know.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 23:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you decide to walk a mile in my shoes, it will likely just be a mile of circles looking for the remote.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 12:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if NASCAR is really just rednecks saying "nice car"
←Rate | 02-11-2015 16:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


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