Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Marshall the Great': View All Messages
Page: 108 of 177

   messageicon I've been living dangerously for the last couple of weeks. My girlfriend got a new cookbook for Christmas.
←Rate | 01-08-2013 18:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend says I'm a bad influence on her kids. Probably because now every time she tells them "Stop," they reply with either "collaborate and listen" or "hammer time."
←Rate | 06-30-2012 19:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I see a photo enforced traffic light, I pose and wave as I run it, tons of adoring fans at the county courthouse send me letters.
←Rate | 09-29-2010 15:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It feels SO GOOD to get things accomplished... or at least I imagine it does. Do something and tell me what it's like.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 07:45 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I caught myself smiling... I was thinking of you... Don't flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having 50 girlfriends isn't swag. Having 1 girlfriend and 49 chasing you is...
←Rate | 08-24-2016 17:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is precious and short. If you have time today, make sure to tell your enemies to f*ck off before they die and you're too late.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 13:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of course I'm out of my mind. It's dark and scary in there.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 07:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone gave me a CD rack yesterday, which would have been an awesome gift if this was 1994.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm having one of those 'wish I lived in Amsterdam' kinda days.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 15:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Officer the only reason I'm speeding is because I'm late...and stopping me for 15 minutes to give me a ticket is only going to make me speed even more!
←Rate | 03-17-2012 15:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who walk on I-95 are so friendly. I've gone past 3 in the last hour and they all gave me the thumbs up.
←Rate | 06-03-2012 20:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I switched to Herbal Essences shampoo, but quickly discovered that I don't have a clit on top of my head like those women in the commercials.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 13:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give a man an inch he takes a mile... give a woman an inch and she will laugh her f*cking head off!!
←Rate | 09-30-2011 11:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just read a sign that says "Watch for Deer" and I was like "No, I don't take orders from a sign." Hahaha... No but seriously, it's been like 16 hours and I haven't seen anything.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 23:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trust gets you killed. Love gets you hurt. Being real gets you hated.
←Rate | 09-02-2012 21:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon WTF is with the "poke" suggestions on Facebook? I just poked TWO guys, thinking that THEY poked ME first?
←Rate | 05-16-2012 22:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon All this learning to share crap when I was a child seems redundant when I'm supposed to have a monogamous relationship as an adult.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 19:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've learned anything from TV it's that kids will never be successful athletics or honor students unless I drive a minivan.
←Rate | 10-02-2010 16:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon It's recycling day and based on the bin I just put out, there's a fraternity that I don't know about living somewhere in my house.
←Rate | 10-04-2010 19:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left