DYLAN BOSCH Funny Status Messages

   This is an "A" and "B" conversation, so "C" your way out before "D" jumps over "E" and "F"'s you up like a "G" :)

   Call of Duty.. Helping Guys like me who don't play the game get laid since 2003."

   never shout out "Fruit Cake" at a gay wedding. You never know who your gonna offend."

   it just me, or is each "next big thing" getting less and less big and nexty, and a lot more thingy?

   I don't care when a girl puts me in 'the friend', 'creeper' or 'getting a restraining order against zone'... it's their loss, not mine."

   Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep; if I die before I wake ... will someone please delete my internet browser history."

   All right, let's solve this once and for all. It was ME who pushed Humpty Dumpty, I also took Little Bo Peeps sheep for ransom, I was the one who let the dogs out and stole the cookies from the cookie jar. So there!!"

   does anyone still miss the old facebook?.. yeah that's what I thought, sell-outs."

   So let me get this right, I cant legally smoke marajuana, yet I can go to my local gun store and buy a Semi Automatic Machine Gun, a couple of grenades and all the ammo I want? Now who's the one that's been smoking something here?"

   I wish I had the ability to see 5 seconds into the future so I could know whether to slam the door in someone's face or hold it for them based on whether they thank me or not."

   Steve Martin had his first kid today at the age of 67... and that is how it's done. Happy Valent Times day to him."

   s on a Facebook Dating Application!!.. And You Wouldn't Believe All these Celebrity Looks-A-like's that want to Hook up with me!! I'm Gonna be Dating a girl that looks like Miley Cyrus Suckahs!!"

   I will take a chance, I will Dance until the Day I Die, I will never look back.. Did I really need Katy Perry to tell me all that? No, But after watchin' her music video. I will dream like a teenager tonight."

   ‎is So,.. Just in case all Hell does freeze over, What's your Number?"

   So Wake me up when I am Sober, When I'm not so drunk and so hungover. This Entire time I didn't know I was getting so tore up. This entire time I didn't know I was getting this f**ked up... I didn't know, I didn't know!..." ♫

   now that were all out of the car, I'm just gonna tell everybody since I have to go to the bathroom now. That when everybody thought that it was a dead skunk on the road,.. that's not what it was."

   if I ever go missing, I want my photo on beer bottles instead of milk cartons because I want someone fun to find me."

   Facebook should have an "exam mode" where you can enter the dates of your exams and you are denied access if you try to go on it during that period of time.

   Lady, there is a differnece between "Love Handles" and "Tail Lights"

   I Can't find my phone! Could you call it? Oh wait, it was only in my pocket.. haha got you're Number!"