Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages

   For the first time ever Women's IQ test scores are higher than Men's!......But to keep it fair they didn't include the ''Blondes'' scores!!!

   I will not chase you after anyone anymore!.......If you walk out of my life, I'll hold the F-N door open for you!!!

   hahahahahahahahaha=very funy hahahahaha=funny haha=not that funny

   When you break something at the store and nervously walk away!

   Remember when you were younger that old guy at the pool that swam laps and yelled at all the kids to get off the ropes!!!

   If Monday hd a face......I would knock the $h!t out of it!!!

   Michael Vick announced that he is probably going to get another Dog soon! Dogs now are like ''Meow!''

   It takes 42 muscles for you to frown! But only four for me to extend my middle finger to you! Fck off!!!

   I would be the worst 911 Operator! ''Excuse me ma'am, I think you mean 'The Robber is over there!' Not over their or over they're!!''

   There needs to be a phone-line to Heaven.....for the one's we miss!!!

   The villian in the new batman movie is named ''Bain''........I know that Obama has something to do with this!!!

   You know your ''OLD'' when your age is higher than the whole Womens Olympic Gymnastic Team!!!

   Life is like a roll of toilet paper....The closer it gets to the end the faster it spins!!!

   Saying ''Oh Yeah, I remember!'' when you have no idea what their talking about!

   Women are just like Hurricanes, because when they come they're wet & wild! And when they leave they're taking the house and car!!!

   I hate when I accidently run my hand over a piece of gum stuck under a desk!

   II wish the XXX Olympics gave medals for the ''Clean and Jerk''

   I'm sex..unattractive and I know it!

   I walked into the Dentist's office and he asked me what the problem was and I said ''Doc, I think I'm a Giant Moth!'' He said ''You need a Psychiatrist not a Dentist, why did you come in here?'' I told him ''The light was on!!!''

   Went for a jog tonight and saw a payphone and I was like ''WTF is that!!!''