@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

   On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me????

   Tonight looks like a good night to do all the nothing I have planned! !!!

   Whoever said “nothing is impossible” has obviously never seen me doing nothing.

   The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

   Spongebob: hey can I talk with you for a second? Squidward: I dont know thats a pretty long time

   That depressing moment when your parents don't appreciate the hilarious child they have been blessed with :P

   "Don't Be Smart With Me!".... Okay Mom,.... i'll just be dumb. Sounds great

   There's a serial killer in the house! NORMAL PEOPLE: "Call the police, let's get out of here!" IN MOVIES: "Let's go find him!"

   #iwasntthatDrunk "Dude, you made your girlfriend a sandwich!"

   I miss being able to slam my phone shut when I hang up on somebody. Violently pressing "end call" just doesn't do it for me

   I hate it when I'm trying to kill a spider but then I lose track of it and I become a victim in my own home.......

   Who else thought Spongebob's parents were cookies?

   I enjoy long walks on the Internet ;)

   ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ Too sexy that if you go out with just one person, everybody will get jealous & depressed therefore killing themselves.

   thinks I feel great when I go to bed drunk. I wake up feeling crap. Obviously sleep is bad for you!!!!

   & who else adds that little pointless arrow - telling your teacher to flip the page over.

   Who the fnck do you think you are and why are you breathing?!!

   You can't be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn't work that way. You're already hard to want..." -Peter Griffin

   Its stupid when someone texts you first and they never reply after you text them back..