mickey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My wife was admitted to the hospital last night. She's in the Expensive Care Unit.
←Rate | 05-21-2012 19:29 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I insisted that my girl accompany me on a fishing trip. That opened up a new can of worms.
←Rate | 05-21-2012 19:26 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon So facebook is now making Poke suggestions. And it could be anything on your friends list. God knows I've always wanted to f**k the s**t out of McDonald's.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 07:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" The doctor: "Is this her first child?" Me: "No, this is her husband."
←Rate | 05-13-2012 08:05 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girfriend's a h00ker with an IQ of 178. What a f**king know-it-all.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 20:19 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look...the very LEAST we could do is have sex.
←Rate | 05-01-2012 09:47 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care what anyone says. MySpace is NOT dead. I just friended two hotties. Wilma and Betty. In ya face, suckas!
←Rate | 04-25-2012 07:34 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Google home page today features a giant zipper. I'm NOT gonna open it. Who knows what'll pop out.
←Rate | 04-24-2012 09:58 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's always that one person who doesn't get it. Don't be that person, no...don't be that person.
←Rate | 04-06-2012 07:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice that kids with Down Syndrome always seem to be so up? We could all take a lesson from them.
←Rate | 03-27-2012 06:46 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wedding rings are the world's smallest handcuffs.
←Rate | 03-25-2012 08:02 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I so want to be in a relationship. I want to account for everything I do. Answer to someone when I come home late. And get dragged over the coals for not calling a hundred times a day.
←Rate | 03-22-2012 08:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon All the immortals survived St. Paddy's Day I see? Let us mere mortals now join our brethren and worship at our place of choice to further along that regressive human trait known as hypocrisy.
←Rate | 03-18-2012 08:20 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hands don't make the music, the soul does.
←Rate | 03-18-2012 01:37 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon there such a thing as a Corned Beef and Cabbage Calzone?
←Rate | 03-17-2012 08:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most significant change brought about in the 2ist century is the decline of photographers and photography studios. They've both been replaced.... By camera phones and bathrooms.
←Rate | 03-13-2012 08:29 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who cares what Dr. Oz says? He used to be a Wizard, now he's only a Doctor. Screw that loser. He's clearly on the way down.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 20:45 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never, ever be ashamed of what you are. I'M not ashamed of what you are.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 20:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I slept late because DST time is back. That's 'cause it's really 10:35. No, I guess it's really 11:35, but it's 10:35, but it really is...well it's 11:36 now because I've gone on and on about what the time really is.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 11:33 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, to have you next to me in the morning. Your soothing warmth, your intensity, your comfort. I need to get a Mr. Coffee for my nightstand.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 09:45 by Mickey Comments (0)  




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