Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Kisstopher707': View All Messages
Page: 10 of 26

   messageicon You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it.
←Rate | 10-22-2014 13:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas; You need to know that if her favorite movie is The Notebook, she will never be satisfied and happy.
←Rate | 10-22-2014 13:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every man there is a woman wondering if going to jail for murder is as bad as it sounds.
←Rate | 10-19-2014 09:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you're probably boring.
←Rate | 10-13-2014 01:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't expect the friendzone to be so comfy.
←Rate | 10-09-2014 14:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
←Rate | 10-06-2014 13:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You sure have a lot of rules for someone who doesn’t care.
←Rate | 10-04-2014 14:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
←Rate | 10-03-2014 00:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists admit they don't know what Jellyfish are made of - "They don't even taste like jelly" said one piss soaked science dude.
←Rate | 09-30-2014 13:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm "let's get turned on by the smell of bookstores" fun.
←Rate | 09-30-2014 13:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am sorry I had feelings. I'll replace them with jokes right away.
←Rate | 09-24-2014 08:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to victim-blame, but maybe Bruce Wayne’s father shouldn’t have brought his wife and 8 yr old son to a place called Crime Alley.
←Rate | 09-21-2014 13:37 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always confuse dessert and desert and I think I might've just buried a hooker in a lemon meringue pie.
←Rate | 09-20-2014 12:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *suddenly pulls away from kissing* "But really, how DO they signal for Batman during the day!?"
←Rate | 09-20-2014 12:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throwing a surprise party for my girlfriend so just remember that on the count of three we all yell "SURPRISE YOU'RE NOW JOHN'S GIRLFRIEND"
←Rate | 09-20-2014 12:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment when she ask if you notice anything about her and you just can't find anything different about her, so you fake a seizure.
←Rate | 09-20-2014 12:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The relationship was going so well until I left my phone unlocked.
←Rate | 09-19-2014 02:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
←Rate | 09-17-2014 14:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon iOS 9 will be out by the time iOS 8 finishes downloading
←Rate | 09-17-2014 13:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro Tip: When having sex on the first date, ALWAYS say "I've never done this" so your partner knows you're a compulsive liar as well.
←Rate | 09-17-2014 01:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left