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Dear Santa I've been good all year! Ok most of the time. I Mean once in a while. Oh...F*ck it, I'll buy my own sh#t.......
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11-30-2011 09:24 by
sully
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I'm starting to think that all those hours in school when I practiced writing my autograph was just a waste of time.....
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11-13-2012 07:02 by
sully
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Global Bacon shortage better be the first debate question tonight, and I WANT ANSWERS! No lies....
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10-03-2012 18:24 by
sully
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The media is a weapon of mass destruction....
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09-03-2013 15:49 by
sully
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CNN Breaking news: Due to Government Shutdown, all the aliens in Area 51 have been released......
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10-01-2013 10:25 by
sully
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Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....
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11-17-2014 21:35 by
Sully
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I'm gonna go old school and drop my status updates in an envelope and start mailing them to all my friends daily to help bail out the Post Office...
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09-06-2011 08:34 by
sully
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Lost a couple FB friends overnight. Hopefully they just died and it wasn't something I said...
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08-23-2012 10:56 by
sully
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If time is money.... Facebook owes me like...27 billion dollars...
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04-14-2015 19:14 by
sully
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I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago...
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09-06-2012 16:40 by
sully
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Boring Apocalypse thus far. Seems like Ryan Seacrest should be hosting a "2012 A-Rock-Alypse Eve" show from Times Square or something.....
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12-20-2012 18:32 by
sully
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I want you all to know, if I win the Powerball tonight.... I'm still going to show up to Facebook tomorrow.
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05-15-2013 18:11 by
sully
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I'm guessing if we see pink smoke, that will mean the justices has reached a decision?
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03-27-2013 15:00 by
sully
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In honor of MLK: I'm going to wash my whites and colors together today.....
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01-20-2014 11:44 by
sully
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I'm late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-6. I'm thankful for boobs
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11-06-2013 07:57 by
sully
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Hey NFL,solution to your recent problem,start allowing players to hit each other on the field again......
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09-18-2014 14:53 by
Sully
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Just saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
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04-24-2013 16:07 by
sully
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Quick question.... Who gets all of Gadhafi's cool sunglasses when they catch him?
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08-22-2011 13:08 by
sully
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CNN Breaking news: Grand Canyon is closed, please don't look if you are driving or flying through.....
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10-01-2013 09:53 by
sully
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In honor of Presidents Day, I'm making HUGE promises to everyone that I have no intention of keeping...
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02-17-2014 20:00 by
sully
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