levon Funny Status Messages

   looks like Bin Laden's episode of Cribs didn't go that well

   the guy at subway put the potato chips on my sandwich without me even asking. either he's stoned or he knows that I am

   i suppose those highway signs that read "Speed enforced by aircraft" has a more serious meaning in Iraq.

   People You May Know = I know none of these people.

   bit another finger trying to eat way too many french fries at once

   shouldn't the DMV have a drive thru?

   eating fiber and smoking weed.... just for sh*ts and giggles

   they should change the name of Rock Band to 'Drunken Family karaoke Failure'

   decided to go barefoot, because i'm always thinking outside the socks

   Now over to world news: Good evening, the UN declared that they will be sending relief aid to Haiti in hopes that the victims of the...Oh..hang on.. this just coming in on the news wire..Lindsay Lohan was taken into custody today for probation violation..

   dear science, thanks for all your contributions lately, but is there a chance we can get some windshield wiper fluid infused birds anytime soon? Thanks:)

   Zipper vs. Penis .... Who ya got??

   the chick on my GPS told me she wants to see other cars

   maybe they should make a game for your phone where you can shoot women into the air with a slingshot and try to destroy everything men say and call it ANGRY B*TCHES

   there's no "I" in gang bang

   can anyone tell me where that McDonald's is?.. ya know, the one in that commercial where you can drive thru 4 times in a row with your baby while no one else waiting in line.. AND get a free egg McMuffin and coffee?

   New Year's eve practice tonight

   when your hand gets stuck trying to reach the Pringles in that friggin' tube - STOP EATING THEM!!

   just made cranberry sauce vodka shots

   couldn't use my Shakeweight today... it had a headache