Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I've noticed that the most attractive women always drive those cute little cars! Which reminds me...the mother-in-law's Panzer needs an oil change!!
←Rate | 08-09-2018 09:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gave my boss a mother's day card. Because "he" is one of the top ten mothers on my list.
←Rate | 05-12-2018 00:34 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another woman cause me to leave my wife. It was her mother.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 19:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kid, “Did you feel that? Was that an earthquake?” Husband, “No it was just your mother coming down the stairs.” And that, folks, is how to end a marriage in 10 words or less.
←Rate | 04-20-2018 02:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its still winter because Mother Nature saw all our summer bodies and decided we weren't ready yet.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 19:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Switching off my mother inlaw's life support machine was very difficult. I had to fight off a doctor, a nurse and two security guards. Beeeeeeeep
←Rate | 03-23-2018 22:33 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon . My mother in-law is drowning, I've informed emergency services. Hope they get my letter in time to save her.
←Rate | 03-08-2018 01:25 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother taught me to never argue with strangers on the Internet. She said I must agree to meet them in real life, and then punch them in the face.
←Rate | 02-26-2018 13:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two girls talking. 1st girl: I've been ask lots of times to get married. 2nd girl: Was it by the same guy? 1st girl: No, by my mother.
←Rate | 02-10-2018 17:29 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her
←Rate | 01-25-2018 03:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'll never be the man your mother is.
←Rate | 01-04-2018 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "OK, send me your mother.
←Rate | 12-22-2017 09:12 by Erich Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother-in-law sent me the link to the site where you can buy a boarding pass to Mars. She even offered to pay for the ticket. That's so sweet of her.
←Rate | 11-01-2017 16:14 by FastPhil Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother in law won "best decorated house" yesterday for Halloween?..she was only opening the curtains?
←Rate | 11-01-2017 08:25 by Trueman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Conflicting emotions: Watching your mother in-law drive off a cliff in your brand new car.
←Rate | 10-03-2017 01:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The people of Puerto Rico have unfortunately discovered just how much power mother nature has. Yet, there will be those arrogant humans who'll continue to think that we're solely responsible for climate change.
←Rate | 09-24-2017 10:59 by Mick Comments (3)  


   messageicon ..School has started. I got my life back. What evey mother is thinking.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump condemns Hurricane Harvey for violence and devastation, but insists "Texans have provoked Mother Nature. There's blame on many sides."
←Rate | 08-29-2017 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the people who are offended by this song...Well...let me tell you.. The Lady is a Tramp song by Frank Sinatra was a song written about my mother! Now,if you got a problem with thiat Then....Obviously that means you must have slept with her..
←Rate | 08-11-2017 12:57 by kathy taylor Comments (0)  


   messageicon * Reverend mother has been constipated for a week. The nuns tried home remedies without sussess. One nun said how about I go out to a bar. The other nuns ask how will that help ? She said if I go and come back drunk reverend mother will sh*t for sure.
←Rate | 08-11-2017 00:29 Comments (0)  

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