mtq Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon That moment when you're tired and sleepy, and you drag yourself to bed but then your brain says, "Ha ha, just kidding!" I hate that.
←Rate | 05-27-2020 21:35 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't get a break. I bought a can of evaporated milk, opened it up...it was full.
←Rate | 05-25-2020 03:52 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women are 60% water, 20% makeup, 10% clothing, 8% shoes, and 1% hairspray. That leaves 1%, yet they demand 100% of men's attention.
←Rate | 04-23-2013 19:29 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sick of all this Wiccan stuff. As far as I'm concerned, they're still food stamps.
←Rate | 04-13-2013 08:07 by MTQ Comments (1)  


   messageicon I have a great name for a dating site which pretty much sums the whole thing up in a nutshell...Desperate Losers.
←Rate | 04-11-2013 07:47 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took Nyquil and Dayquil. I forgot how to tell time.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 22:00 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't actually pay a h00ker to sleep with you, you pay her to leave.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 13:26 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon war machines will cause the destruction of man. Not a comet. I wonder what the next species that inhabits the Earth will discuss while filling their vehicles with the fossil fuels derived from the remains of extinct humans.
←Rate | 03-31-2013 11:06 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Umm...you people who live up north whining about the cold weather umm....you umm live up north.
←Rate | 03-29-2013 11:15 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gangnam Style: Dancing like an overweight Ch!nk getting b0ned up the a$$ by a sumo wrestler while wearing handcuffs that were put on by a ret@rded cop.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 07:09 by MTQ Comments (0)  



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