Shuttdogg Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My girlfriend said bringing toys into the bedroom would spice up our sex lives... So I double fisted her with a set of Hulk Hands.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 14:51 by shuttdogg Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say: Ron Jeremy for President..."You're gonna get screwed anyway, might as well get screwed by a pro.
←Rate | 03-09-2012 14:49 by shuttdogg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things I don't like: 1) Probably you. 2) Cold coffee. 3) Small talk. 4) Mondays. 5) Having small talk with you on a Monday while my coffee is getting cold.
←Rate | 03-06-2012 14:12 by shuttdogg Comments (1)  


   messageicon febreeze- because your house smells like weed and your parents will be home any minute.
←Rate | 02-28-2012 21:00 by shuttdogg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook would be way cooler if it was on t.v. : "In other news Brian's ex-girlfriend is still a cold, heartless b!tch. Details at 11".
←Rate | 02-24-2012 02:02 by shuttdogg Comments (0)  


   messageicon just got college letters from the marines, navy, army and coast gaurd. Well obviously somebody has been watching me play Call Of Duty...
←Rate | 02-08-2012 17:37 by shuttdogg Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to be a looker when I was younger. Or a peeping Tom as the girls used to call me
←Rate | 02-05-2012 17:07 by shuttdogg Comments (0)  


   messageicon I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 01:15 by shuttdogg Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife told me she was going to leave me if I didn't quit making Linkin Park references. Slightly concerned, but in the end it doesn't even matter
←Rate | 10-14-2011 01:10 by shuttdogg Comments (0)  


   messageicon cavemen were posting on walls before it was cool
←Rate | 09-30-2011 15:56 by shuttdogg Comments (0)  



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