Mickey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
←Rate | 07-21-2017 10:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have as much interest in golf as I have in golf.
←Rate | 03-01-2017 19:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sign at the florist's said, "Say It With Flowers." I go in and ordered one rose. The guy asks me if I'm cheap. I go, "No, I'm a man of few words."
←Rate | 02-18-2017 14:31 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanna meet me at Taco Bell? The Day Without Illegal Migrants means we'll get plenty of sauce packets and napkins.
←Rate | 02-17-2017 12:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've learned anything from social media, it's that we live on a planet that's disproportionately filled with inhabitants in possession of single digit IQ's.
←Rate | 02-16-2017 08:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can't walk for a month.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 14:37 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried killing a spider with a can of cheap hairspray. Now it smokes two packs a day, joined a bowling league, wears blue eye shadow and calls itself Brenda.
←Rate | 02-08-2017 20:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is a terminal disease, that is sexually transmitted.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 13:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throughout the 90's, during its infancy, the internet was referred to as the Information Superhighway. Little did we realize, that in such a short amount of time, it would unfortunately become the Misinformation Stupidhighway.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 10:31 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throughout the 90's, during its infancy, the internet was referred to as the Information Superhighway. Little did we realize, that in such a short amount of time, it would become the Information Stupidhighway.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 10:12 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon For those of you who don't have a significant other to spend Valentine's Day with, kindly resist the temptation to brag about it.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 18:47 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon White Americans killing off other Americans is a psychological issue, not an ideological one.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 11:56 by Mickey Comments (1)  


   messageicon Polling showed 27% of the USA bet on Atlanta to win. Must've been conducted by CNN.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 09:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, If a guy mutes the volume during the Super Bowl when you sit down next to him, you need to do one thing. Marry him.
←Rate | 02-05-2017 13:08 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought Super Bowl LI was a Pho Soup special at a Vietnamese restaurant.
←Rate | 02-05-2017 10:58 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Dating" is an anachronistic, nebulous means of defining a relationship. All it means is both parties are duping each other into some degree of permanency. Wait...that's marriage. I meant marriage.
←Rate | 02-03-2017 07:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor needed a stool, a ur-ine, a se-men and a blood sample. I gave him my underwear.
←Rate | 02-02-2017 10:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon You want to gauge how dumb people are these days? No, don't look at Dept. of Education stats, SAT scores or even IQ's. Listen closely to someone ahead of you at a fast food drive thru place an order.
←Rate | 02-01-2017 10:45 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish people would stop saying the husbands of the women who marched didn't get a sandwich that day. Have you seen those women? No way any of them have a husband.
←Rate | 01-31-2017 09:59 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do President Trump and Tony the Tiger have in common? They're both orange and make things GREEAAT!
←Rate | 01-31-2017 07:57 by Mickey Comments (2)  


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