Bridget Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Every flaw in my character is quietly salvaged as evidence of my genius.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 16:02 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon A necktie functions like a tourniquet, preventing excess blood from entering the head.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 16:01 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Tired of online dating? You're not alone.” Yes you are. That's why you're dating online.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 16:00 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wrote a joke about the short duration of cocaine, in fact the joke itself is a one-liner.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 16:00 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon A good rule for facebook: Friends don't let friends friend non friends.
←Rate | 07-10-2011 18:16 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tattoos: Nothing like a permanent disfigurement to satisfy the whims of fashion.
←Rate | 07-10-2011 18:15 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday I had a religious experience: I was repressed and beaten by a man in a black robe.
←Rate | 07-10-2011 18:14 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facts are busily being ground into meat.
←Rate | 07-10-2011 18:07 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chess Master Plots Brilliant Attack On Wife!
←Rate | 07-10-2011 18:06 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon When are they going to do a myth busters episode on God?
←Rate | 07-10-2011 18:05 by bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lawnmower is like a man. You either have to push it or ride it if you expect to get any work out of it.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 19:10 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon pulling out of a disabled parking zone, a police officer calls out "what's your disability?" As I drive off I call back " torettes, piss off asshole"
←Rate | 06-12-2011 19:04 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon Big Boobs makes my ADHD go crazy!
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:49 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon - Boobs are a lot like toy trains...they are meant for kids but dads like playing with them too
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:47 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to defrag my brain. Process takes 8 to 9 hours. Will be unavailable till reboot is complete..
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:40 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks Facebook should add another option for Friends Requests... WHO ARE YOU?
←Rate | 05-25-2011 18:55 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wish I could change my relationship status to "batteries dead" LOL
←Rate | 05-25-2011 18:54 by bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 19:23 by Bridget Comments (1)  


   messageicon Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 01:39 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad to see that two close people don't recognize each other anymore. Not because they grew up but because they grew apart.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 01:33 by Bridget Comments (0)  


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