life Funny Status Messages
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How come when I was a kid and lost a tooth it was all “Look at you, big guy!,” but now it’s just “Bro, you really gotta reconsider your life choices.”
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08-26-2020 10:19
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Just got a booty call from life, apparently it still wants to keep screwing me.
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06-09-2022 23:28
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Old computer games couldn’t be won, they just got harder and faster until you died. Just like in real life.
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01-06-2023 18:40
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Tried being normal once, it was the most boring ten minutes of my life.
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01-13-2023 02:50
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The older I get, the less life in prison is a deterrent.
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01-06-2023 17:52
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May life treat you the way you treat waiters and animals.
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01-04-2023 02:43
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Life would be easier if we all had a video game health bar above our heads letting everyone know how close we are to a meltdown.
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01-07-2023 12:28
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Dads tell cheesy jokes not because humor gets worse with age, but because the more life experience you have, the more value you place on anything that might make someone laugh, even if it’s at your own expense.
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01-13-2023 02:16
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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01-07-2023 12:58
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If you stay silent and fail to rock the boat in this war between good and evil; your life might be easier, but your children’s won’t.
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01-10-2023 02:21
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The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.
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01-11-2023 00:48
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You learn nothing from life if you think that you’re right all the time.
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04-18-2022 21:46
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When we were young, we were given the impression that strangers would offer us drugs much more often than has happened in real life.
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04-19-2022 11:15
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Transitions Adaptive Lenses: “Experience life well lit.” Me: Oh, I will.
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04-17-2022 00:54
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Life isn’t supposed to be easy, it’s a fight, a test.
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06-10-2022 04:20
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In 2018, 33 researchers published their theory that octopuses didn’t originate on earth and are actually alien life forms.
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05-26-2022 06:05
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You can’t stay young forever, but you can be immature for the rest of your life.
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01-18-2023 01:28
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Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
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05-08-2022 20:37
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Life is too short to die a coward.
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05-17-2022 06:06
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Him: you are my drug. Her: aww… you can’t live without me? Him: No, you’re expensive and you ruin my life.
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06-08-2022 20:29
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