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Jake Funny Status Messages
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Viagra is like Disney land, the both make you wait a hour for a three minute ride.
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04-23-2018 05:51 by
Jake
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What do woman and police cars have in common? The both make a lot of noise when they are coming.
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04-23-2018 05:34 by
Jake
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Silence is your best responce when talking to an idiot
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04-23-2018 03:55 by
Jake
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Never hire an elecetrician with fuzzy hair
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04-19-2018 15:22 by
Jake
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Most all the women I meet in bars think I have a nice butt. Because as I walk away from them after talking to them. I hear them say "what an ass."
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04-18-2018 23:09 by
Jake
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paying a porn star hush money tax deductible
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04-18-2018 19:51 by
Jake
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Why are there braille dots on the drive up ATM keys ?
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04-16-2018 23:05 by
Jake
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The major cause of a divorce is the marriage.
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04-16-2018 23:02 by
Jake
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To have a happy marriage assume your wife is always right.
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04-16-2018 22:59 by
Jake
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Had 21 minutes of doggie style sex last night. That's 3 minutes in human time.
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04-16-2018 21:14 by
Jake
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Divorce: A legal document for married people to hate each other.
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04-16-2018 02:36 by
Jake
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When my son got his driver's license. He ask if I would get him something cheap to run around in. So I got him a pair of Keds sneakers.
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04-13-2018 05:07 by
Jake
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Arguing with your wife is like buying a lottery ticket. You probably won't win but you still give it a try.
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04-13-2018 04:50 by
Jake
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My dad is afraid to sleep by himself. When my mom went to vist aunt, dad had the lady from next door come over and sleep with him.
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04-13-2018 02:59 by
Jake
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You know you're broke when American Express calls you and says: "Leave home without it"
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04-09-2018 00:23 by
Jake
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I lost money in the John Wayne toilet paper co. The T.P. was so ruff it wouldn't take sh*t off of anybody.
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04-08-2018 18:20 by
Jake
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I stopped complaining about my insomnia when I found out most of my relatives died in their sleep.
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03-30-2018 22:47 by
Jake
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My labrador Retriver chewed up my TV remote controll. Now every time he farts the TV turns off.
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03-30-2018 21:27 by
Jake
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A friend ask me why I haven't married yet. I said if I didn't have to live with my wife I would get married.
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03-29-2018 20:30 by
Jake
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Single men: To keep on enjoying your carefree life, never utter the words "I DO"
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03-29-2018 01:16 by
Jake
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