GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm really tired of the LED headlights on some cars. I'm really glad you can see 92 miles ahead, but the rest of us are blind now.
←Rate | 02-10-2025 05:41 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Step 1: Go to a drive through. Step 2: Say "I'm sorry but I'm blind. Can you read the menu to me"? Step 3: See how long they'll read before realizing you can't drive if you're blind.
←Rate | 02-09-2025 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: Every once in a while, call your wife by one of your ex-girlfriend's names. This will help her realize that she is not the only woman on the docket, and that you're a really good catch!
←Rate | 02-06-2025 11:13 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon God made the earth then rested. God made man then rested. God made woman and since then neither God nor man have rested again.
←Rate | 02-06-2025 10:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: Whenever you do something good for your wife, make sure to let her know. For example: "Hey honey, I put all the laundry by the laundry machine. That way you can wash the clothes after you get done with dinner."
←Rate | 02-05-2025 13:15 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and send a message to everyone: "Thank you for coming".
←Rate | 02-05-2025 10:49 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to care what people thought of me until I tried to pay my bills with their opinions.
←Rate | 01-31-2025 05:30 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not as mean as I could be. And I want people to be more grateful for that.
←Rate | 01-30-2025 10:14 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever drove a car without any power steering, you can literally fight anybody and win.
←Rate | 01-29-2025 09:56 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night my wife asked for peace and quiet while she cooked dinner. So I went and took the batteries out of the smoke detector.
←Rate | 01-28-2025 10:34 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  



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