Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Kisstopher707': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 27

   messageicon You would think I am a fugitive on the run the way I react when there is a knock on my door.
←Rate | 06-17-2018 07:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son screamed like a little girl when he saw a spider so no paternity test was needed.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 05:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I'm usually fine with going home.
←Rate | 04-08-2018 13:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
←Rate | 04-19-2018 01:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For once I’d like to get kicked INTO a bar
←Rate | 11-22-2017 02:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m small but influential. Like bacteria or Tom Cruise.
←Rate | 04-18-2018 14:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even looking at LinkedIn's logo can result in an unsolicited email.
←Rate | 12-05-2017 06:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
←Rate | 04-09-2018 02:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I'm not your boyfriend.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 05:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't tell me what to do; you're not my demons.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 01:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Babies are participation trophies for men.
←Rate | 08-05-2017 11:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my time, real men did not smoke cigarettes with batteries.
←Rate | 05-17-2018 12:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me
←Rate | 08-16-2017 14:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That concludes the Time Travelers Club meeting, see you all last month.
←Rate | 05-06-2017 10:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could match my dog's excitement to go outside.
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fatter the man, the more Hawaiian the shirt.
←Rate | 10-22-2017 06:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Running shoes? No, I don't run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
←Rate | 04-27-2018 14:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thighs that slap together when you walk are just giving the owner an applause.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 02:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
←Rate | 09-10-2017 04:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two types of people in the world. Please stay away from both of them.
←Rate | 10-28-2017 07:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left