ff1241 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It might be fat Tuesday today, but I'm fat everyday. So what's the big deal.
←Rate | 03-08-2011 14:55 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon was looking for a date on Craigs list only to find out that "420 friendly" did not stand for maximum weight limit.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 22:48 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the blue book value on my car just tripled...I filled the gas tank!
←Rate | 03-22-2011 22:18 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First big snow fall of the season and the TV news is acting like the terrorism threat levels just moved up a spot or two.
←Rate | 01-11-2012 13:06 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who don't know what they want should not use the drive thru!
←Rate | 07-14-2011 12:47 by ff1241 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sometimes the only way to win is not to play the game.
←Rate | 03-18-2011 02:50 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay I have time to get an hour of sleep before I need to get ready for work. Bed get ready because this needs to be quick but meaningful.
←Rate | 02-25-2011 20:12 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you turn down the car radio, hang up the cell phone and remove you head from your ass you might just notice the emergence vehicle with it's emergency lights flashing and siren blaring trying to get a destination that's more important than yours.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 18:04 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you fall in Love with a girl with spakling eyes. Make sure It's not the sun shining through the back of her head
←Rate | 04-16-2011 03:21 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You look like the type of person who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 03:21 by ff1241 Comments (17)  


   messageicon Look, here's the deal: If you're into immature, sexually compulsive men who drink too much and need to be the center of attention at all times, you are going to find me very attractive.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 22:30 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can we name the next hurricane Shaniqua or something? I feel like if we give hurricanes ghetto names, people will be more inclined to get away from them. Hurricane Irene sounds friendly. Hurricane Shaniqua will rip out your weave if you look at it wrong.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 13:40 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's that time of year again when I don't need the refrigerator to keep the beer cold.
←Rate | 12-04-2010 16:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing makes me feel better about myself more than the stupidity of others.
←Rate | 04-02-2011 14:24 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 17:36 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to think of a good way to show off to everyone the superman underwear I got for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 03:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids are more fun when you can give them back.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 21:54 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I just want to tell someone "You should play catch with lawn darts."
←Rate | 03-02-2012 02:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Bacon is meat candy."
←Rate | 12-03-2010 17:36 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ready to have male pattern baldness become "in style"
←Rate | 03-05-2011 01:34 by ff1241 Comments (0)  



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