lauren moro Funny Status Messages

   Life is a comedy for those who think, a tragedy for those who feel, and a pie eating contest for me

   Technically, I don't really go to bed. I just give up on the day.

   The more I get to know other people, the less I hate myself.

   How you get sleepy after crying, It's like your mind is telling you, “you've suffered enough, it's time to shut down for a bit.”

   Don`t flatter yourself, I sent a friend request not a marriage proposal.

   If you're happy and you know it...I'll have whatever it is you're drinking! :P

   Singing passionately in the shower, pretty good idea. Dancing passionately in the shower, not so much.

   Never tell your woman shut up... just tell her that her lips are sexy when they are closed...

   you know it's cold when chickens are running to KFC to use the deep fryer.

   I need audio of crickets chirping on my phone so I can play after someone I don't like says a bad joke.

   I was stopped 4 speeding! The officer got out of her car, Said to me"'I been waiting 4u all day''.I replied "Got here as fast as I can". she laugh and let me go!

   No, Occifer - I don't know how fast I was going (hiccup), but you caught me so obviously I was not going fast enough!

   we spend the money we don't have, to buy the things we don't need, to impress the people we don't like.