X Funny Status Messages

   My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.

   In preparation for 2012, I am building an Ark. I am going to to need two of everything, Two Blonds, Two Brunettes and Two Redheads.

   if Paul the octopus was so smart, he wouldn't have been captured in the first place.

   Going back to your ex is like reheating McDonald’s fries

   People say that love is in every corner I must be walking in circles!

   Can we stop with all the stupid religion posts?! So you guys have differing opinions.. GREAT! Take it somewhere else-

   trying to think whether i've been naughty or nice this year but the screaming slaves in my basement are distracting me.

   "Now in all good toy shops, batteries not included"

   preparing for confession. Anyone have an unused condom?

   My legs have decided to take part in 'no shave November'... By the looks of things they started in September.

   76 Chinese Medals... imprint on back ....Made in China... Coincidence...I think NOT!

   "Look, there's a difference between 'ninja' and 'ninjer'."

   starin at a fluorescent light Above him watchin the dust bunny fall like snow.

   Sometimes... when I'm bored, I lay on the kitchen floor and pretend to be a crumb (o O)

   very rich

   The Left wants everything in the world to be electric or run on batteries? Start with the border wall!