Vitamin N Funny Status Messages

   remembers when Vampires were Scary, not Sexy...

   hates it when he asks someone a question and they start their answer with "Honestly?"......No! Please lie to me, that's what I was hoping for.....idiots!

   doesn't understand what the fascination is with Camping...You work hard all year to pay your Mortgage/Rent, only to spend your vacation pretending you're Homeless

   Man Fact: Even if a Man notices that another Man's fly is down, he will Never tell him out of fear of the follow-up question, "Why are you looking there?"....

   thinks it's funny that "LOL" has gone from meaning "Laugh Out Loud" to "I have Nothing Else To Say"

   Seriously, iPhone...Stop correcting all my 'F#CK"s to "DUCK"s. It makes my Strongly-worded texts sound Cute and Adorable...

   has developed his own H1N1 Vaccine consisting of: NyQuil, Tylenol-3, Vodka, Rohypnol, Benadryl, OxyContin, Spiced Rum and a hint of Lemon. ---Directions: Drink One Full Glass every hour to Remove all Care and Worry about the H1N1 virus.....

   I Love when my Friends help to Identify themselves as Technologically-Retarded Idiots by changing their Status to: "WOW I cant believe that you can see who is viewing your Profile!"...

   learned a lot about relationships from Super Mario Bros.....sometimes, You have to pound a few Dragons to get to the Princess

   wonders When did LuLuLemon become the preferred clothing line for overweight and out of shape people?

   My Wife says I'm too Immature, and if I don't Grow Up it's going to erect a barrier between us .....Hee Hee Hee....Erect

   Schizophrenic...and So am I

   iPad...for when you have your iPeriod

   Someone stole all my Credit Cards but, I won't be Reporting it.....The Thief spends Less than my Wife did.

   started taking Gingko Biloba pills to improve his Memory...but, he keeps forgetting to take them!

   When times are Tough, you know who your Real Friends are. When times are Easy...you know who your Drinking Friends are!

   YOLO - You Obviously Lack Originality

   There is Breast Cancer, be Aware of it.......There! Doesn't that promote Breast Cancer Awareness a lot better than writing the name of a Fruit or the Colour of your Bra as your Facebook status?!?

   Romeo and Juliet is Not a Love Story... It's a 3-Day relationship between a 13 year-old and a 17 year-old that caused 6 Deaths. Sincerely, -Everyone who actually Read it.

   Over Six Billion Dollars were spent on this Election Campaign, so that Americans can be in the exact same place they were in Before it started. Well done, America... Well. Done.