Space Monkey Funny Status Messages
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Few things raise suspicion like a black guy in a Mercedes with a ski rack.
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It's kind of cool how khaki Dockers and ugly people found each other
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There's creepy, then there's going to a strip club wearing a windbreaker
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We bought a zoo, because we bought some pot.
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Dear apartment next door, you can either have an infant or a puppy, kill one.
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You mean you guys don't write for TV sitcoms either?
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I'm not pressing S H I T for English!!!!!
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"Hold on, I look like S H I T." {grabs Chanel bag}, "OK, better...Let's go" - Some hood rat chick
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My mom just called me and told me she has a new boyfriend. Django could be a white name too, right?
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Ron Jeremy is in the hospital... I think I've seen that one before on Redtube.
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If Lance Armstrong and Oprah was ever to have a baby they would name it Dope-rah
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Manti Te'o should change his relationship status on Facebook to "It's Complicated"
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To any of you sick guys out there thinking about catfishing me, I'm terrible at texting back and scared of commitment so please just move along.
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Been watching these 2 black guys shake hands for the past 28 minutes.
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