Memz Funny Status Messages

   Its funny that when you put a depressing status on Facebook some people actually like it?.. "Im feeling down and going to jump off a bridge" ... 10 people like this?..WTF!!!

   I don't get it?? How are dead people making new songs? On the radio it just said MJs new tune? It's the same with 2pac? Great skills... It's gonna be the same when I kick the bucket, I'm still gonna update Facebook

   Why do people add me on Facebook and never say anything? ... Just hanging around watching like a rapist in a van

   If Monday was a person it would be a fat ginger girl who likes horses and tells the teacher when you cheat.

   The kids are gonna be shtting themselves after trick or treating at my house tonight......Chocolate laxatives are the best.

   some song lyrics are just so wrong.. "I drove all night to get to you, is that alright? I drove all night, crept in your room Woke you from your sleep, to make love to you Is that alright?"...No Roy, it was not alright at all!!!

   I remember 2011 like it was yesterday

   Don't you wish people could be like money? So you could hold them up to the sun and see which ones are fake and which are real?

   Dear Santa, I would like a thin body and a fat bank account. Don't mix it up this year!

   No, no, no. I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you.

   It's snowing in East London at the moment...First white thing I've seen all day.

   Don't judge me for being materialistic until you've walked a mile in my fantastic Gucci suede shoes.

   Welcome to Facebook Timeline....Ended at midnight 31 December 2011

   Shagged this model who works for Abercrombie & Fitch last night... She was amazing, them new mannequins are so realistic!

   Some woman has just said to me... Oh it's the last day of November, are you going to be shaving your tash"... No darling I'm keeping it, what about yours ?

   In life it doesn't matter what people say about you... Most of them f##kers dont even know the real you, so who gives a toss what a bunch of sad twisted plebs think... The people who love and respect you the most know the person you really are.

   Some sick f##ks in this world I tell you.. That sicko in Norway who killed 87 kids needs to be given the same treatment.. Line him up and 86 members of his vile family and torture them until they cry for mercy and then finish them off.

   Sitting on the bus and some twat sitting next to me has decided to play vile raggarage on his loud speaker... I'm gonna either headbutt him or just return fire with some pavarotti