MarkAElliott Funny Status Messages

   wondering why there is a cork screw on a Swiss Army Knife. I can't remember the last time I encountered a wild bottle of Chianti in the wild..

   if guns kill people, then spoons make people overweight...

   over the years has realized that marriage is like a hand of poker, you start with a pair and end up with a full house...

   heard a guy at Starbucks talking loudly in his cell say, "I'm going to surprise her with a Jaguar." I'll only like him if he meant the cat..