Lil-David Funny Status Messages

   I feel pretty damn good this morning, I made it 2 hours longer then my last years, New Years Resolution!

   My imaginary friends can beat your real friends ....

   Climate/Climax same difference, both involve changes in temperature.

   snow in Egypt in the dessert, Egyptian police report camel's slipping and sliding, Egyptian Utilities report all 25 customer's without power.

   Duck Tales should be the replacement for Duck Dynasty-Huey, Dewy, and Louie only had one McQuack!

   It's hard to get positive here for Nelson Mandela jokes, I guess you all were born in South Africa!

   A guy that's inbred and makes a living helping people trick ducks into landing for sex, is going to tell his opinion about wrong sex... Shove that down your throats!

   Megyn Kelly said "Jesus and Santa Claus are white" well if they weren't they live in Detroit and East St. Louis!

   I was going to buy you a Christmas gift, until I Got High!

   I was going to buy Christmas gifts from my lottery winnings, I was close I had one number, I guess you'll have to wait till next year!

   Recent study shows half the teenagers have never sent a letter, I guess a text/email don't count must be all the abbreviations OMG!