Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   A liar takes forever to explain a simple answer...

   I hope there comes a day when cancer is just a zodiac sign

   Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.

   My life is like a romantic comedy expect there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes

   I wish a girl with fake eyebrows would argue with me, I would lick my Thumb so Fast!

   I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you are good with grammar you will get it.

   Don't die a virgin. Seriously, there are terrorists up there waiting for you.

   When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb

   Respect for women, starts with your mother

   You're 15 years old. You smoke. You're not a virgin and you wear more make-up than you do clothes. You have a bright future ahead of you.

   One man's hoe is probably another man's hoe too.

   Why be fake when being real takes no effort at all?

   No one is being forced to read my posts, unfriend me or I'll block you at the slightest hint of dissatisfaction. I'm helpful like that

   Nothing more awkward then being 10 minutes into a porno and realizing there's no girls in it...

   If someone won't lift a finger to call you, see you or spend time with you then it's time for you to lift five fingers and wave goodbye

   Masturbation is great. It wakes you up, puts you to sleep, relieves stress, and the only person who judges if you're good at it is yourself

   I like kids, only because they remind me to buy more condoms.

   Kate is officially a milf

   No one can text faster than a pissed off woman

   I'm drinking coffee because people think you've got a problem if you drink vodka in the morning!