Ha.ha Funny Status Messages

   Celebrate Thanksgiving by giving people the bird.

   Disappointment is coming home to the smell of fresh bake cookies and finding out it's just a scented candel.

   Maybe it's the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.

   "The New York marathon was found to be a more efficient way to get around the city."

   When you go in the ocean to pee, go in past your waist.

   If you're born in November, your parents probablity had a fun Valentine's day.

   I'm far from distancing my self from anything.

   My MIL would invite her self to have dinner with my husband and me. Tired of this, one time after dinner I put the dishies on the floor and let the dog lick them clean in front of her. Then put them back into the cabinet. We now have MIL free dinners.

   "Wisdom doesn't come from age, wisdom comes from the things that you srewed up in your life."

   Untill I got married, I never knew there was a wrong way to put the milk back into the fridge.

   Guys the secret to a happy marriage...... "Honey, you're absolutely right."

   I just had a Hebrew National Hotdog. It's like a normal hotdog, but with the skin at the end cut off.

   My wife and I have doggie style sex. I sit up and beg for it. And she rolls over and plays dead.

   Aggravation: Trying to get a vending machine to take a wrinkled dollar bill.

   When my wife is angry with me, she'll not only stops talking to me, she'll also send me blank tex messages.

   Why does a flamingo lift one leg? Because if it lifted both, it would fall over.

   The secret to a happy marriage.... Jack Daniels on the rocks

   A married couple in their 60's gets a vist from a fairy. Who says I will grant each of you a wish. The wife wish for a 2nd honey moon. Poof. Two tickets on a luxury cruse liner appear Husband I'd like my wife to be 30 years younger than me Poof he's 92

   spending Thanksgiving day with your obnoxious relatives something to be thankful for?

   It should be a Thanksgiving tradition that one of the football games be the Patriots vs the Redskins.