Eddy Funny Status Messages

   a married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy

   people who work at Amazon fulfillment centers should put their job status as "professional boxer"

   I wonder if Harvey Weinstein & Bill Cosby sit around swapping stories

   when you drop your iphone, remember that's gravity that makes the apple fall

   asked Alexa "why is my wife such a b!@#$" & Alexa replied "id rather not answer" ...these computers really are smart

   I was wearing glasses before it was a Snapchat filter...I'm a trendsetter

   look on the bright side...Bill Cosby is gonna get a lot of Jell-o

   when did the country's concern for money go from Wall Street to Sesame Street?

   the last time I visitied a gym I was being graded on it

   I wonder if Disney is gonna make the Epcot Center look like the Death Star now

   you never see the chihuahua in the Taco Bell commercials anymore...makes me wonder what's in those 99 cent burritos

   With the way humanity follows directions, I look for a lot of people to need a seeing eye dog soon

   wonders why the trojan condom was named after something that broke through a wall & let thousands of unwanted ppl in?...terrible product naming

   i pirate so many songs & movies that I should download a boat

   if you are down & need a friend, call me...if you need to borrow money, the number you have dialed is no longer in service

   electrocuting the engineer

   didnt Mark Zuckerberg learn anything from Tom Anderson? the changes to myspace is what killed it

   If I get addicted to eating cold turkey, idk how i'm going to quit

   new drinking game...every time a member of congress coughs, take a drink

   i thoguht of a good halloween costume...rent the horse costume but only wear the back half...tell everyone "im my ex"