Dunno Funny Status Messages

   Helmet strapped down, crayons sharpened, it's going to be a great day!

   Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

   Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.

   I've lost my mind! But that's okay, as sick as it is it won't get far!

   Blanket on .. too hot. Blanket off .. too cold, one leg out? PERFECT!

   I don't understand the concept of a Freudian slip. It doesn't make any sex to me at all.

   eating the papers inside his books hoping that it will go straight to his brain

   My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

   How can you tell when a woman is having a bad day? She has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarettes. 

   Chills and they're multiplying

   I just bought some new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said to remove the top and push up bottom. My butt hurts now but every time I fart the room smells awesome. 

   I am not childish!! Stop calling me that you big doo doo head.

   My cuzn's baby's daddy's lil bruda's bes fren's uncle's x-wife's boyfren's mama's awnt's nexdoe neigba's susta in law said tell you Mur Cripmus!

   I wish McDonalds sold a hot dog so I could walk in and order a McWeiner and then ask for it to be supersized

   Really really really wants to zigazig ha