British bob Funny Status Messages

   Kids buy breakfast cerial the same way men buy lingerie for thier wives. They buy something they care nothing about just so they can get at the prize that's inside.

   The weather over here is terrible. Last night I dreamt it actually stopped raining. I love a good dry dream.

   A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says"Why do you think that?". The man says, "well, the s*x is still the same but the laundry is piling up."

   Going to go back in time and have sex with all the Golden Girls, and Angela Lansbery.

   I wanted a good suit for a job interview. The missus said"Why don't you borrow the suit your dad wore at the funeral last week?" It really was a good suit, so I grabbed a shovel,headed for the graveyard and........