Friday Funny Status Messages

   I had a colonoscopy on Friday. Just let me say there are some things you should never use a Groupon for.

   Gun sales hit #1 record for a Black Friday sales item.

   Went to a Black Friday thing a my sweetheart’s house… all clothes were 100% off.

   How come today is Monday when yesterday was only Friday??

   Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls

   Just did my own taxes . I should be in jail by Friday.

   If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.

   "Friday" is an old Indian word that means "Just two more days until Monday."

   In honor of it being Friday the 13th, whenever I hear a strange noise, I'm going to investigate it braless, and wearing cute panties.

   Every day can be Friday if you're really irresponsible.

   Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Samuel Adams and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.

   Spring makes every day feel like you're stuck in the office on a Friday afternoon.

   Came home Friday with flowers for the missus. When I handed them to her she replied, "Great. Now I have to spend all weekend on my back with my legs in the air." Obviously confused I asked, "Why? Don't we have any vases?

   Who came up with the brilliant idea of moving the clocks forward on the weekend...in the middle of the night?? Why not move them ahead on a Friday around 4PM?

   Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok by friday;)

   I am really looking forward to my favorite Thanksgiving tradition. Watching the "Black Friday" shoppers at Walmart trampling each other on the evening news.

   My boss yelled at me yesterday "It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it's Friday?"…

   In addition to Casual Friday, I propose the following: Punch A Coworker Monday, No Pants Tuesday, Drunk At Work Wednesday, and Call In Sick Thursday.

   Black Friday? That's ones of those Ice Cube movies right?

   Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn't been used at the liquor store since Friday.