Eddy Funny Status Messages

   the irony is a group of blacks picked the white cotton guy out.....for life

   i could of been ur dad but ur mom didnt have change for a dollar

   i just went to town. these new cars have gps, satellite radio & a thing in the seat to warm your butt....turn signal seems to be optional

   id hate to be a vegetarian in Russia....everything suddenly tastes a little meteor

   today I'll be celebrating MLK day...I'm going to sleep in late & have a dream

   I think an eye doctor should run for president in 2020 with the slogan "a perfect vision"

   it's not "stalking" .....it's "starting a secret fan club that only has 1 member"

   roses are red, chocolate is brown, some ppl will be stuck at home looking for singles in their town

   with school starting back tomorrow, don't forget to thank the bus driver #Fortnite

   idk why the amazon CEO doesn't cal l himself the "Amazon Prime Minister"

   I opened up this app & just keep swiping right at all the sexy pictures...I can't believe how many selfies I have stored in my pictures

   on the flight back home dont let Romney sit by the window....he might really try to open it this time

   I missed my ex today so I reloaded & shot again

   Everyone is wearing masks & school starts back soon....the teachers are gonna sound like Charlie Brown's teacher....wah wah wah

   1 day i'm gonna be telling my kids about payphones, no cell phones or internet & the video games aren't portable....& the kids will think it's a fairy tale

   my opinion is brought to you by the letter "F" & the letter "U"

   how imagine if gilbert godfrey got Fran Drescher pregnant...omg what an annoying voice that kid would have

   Bought my son an iPad, my daughter an iPod. The wife got me an iPhone and I got her an iRon. She wasn't overjoyed even after I explained that it can be integrated with the iWash, iCook, iClean network. This activated the iNag software update

   wonders who is good at following directions. everyone press ALT + F4

   people either say i'm "pretty funny" or "pretty smart" but they always forget the word "and"