santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Don't forget to tip your food delivery drivers this Christmas as Santa is watching, who's also a delivery guy.

   I’d like to be the first to wish you all a very merry Christmas

   I didn't even know what to buy people for Christmas until I heard about these exploding pagers and walki-talkies.

   It's finally November! That means it's time I get to start saying the two words everybody wants to hear: Merry Christmas!

   Oh, so you're preparing turkey again for Christmas? Twice in one month. Kudos to you. I'm overwhelmed by your imagination.

   Warning! If you get a link that says "Justin Barber sings Christmas carols" Don't open it! It's Justin Barber singing Christmas carols.

   Not a lot of great things listed in Craigslist free section today. Unless any of you guys would like a slightly used mattress for Christmas?

   Just checked my bank account. And it looks like everyone is getting text messages for Christmas.

   August is almost over. Tomorrow is September 1st. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

   Santa has been reading your posts all year. Most of you are getting dictionaries.

   Just so we're clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.

   It's beginning to look a lot like I'm going to have to go on a diet after Christmas.

   Gary's tips for the holidays: 1. Forget the past. You can't change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn't get you one.

   Walmart is giving away free Christmas decorations as long as you can outrun security.

   Santa, no matter what my wife says, I have been very good this year.

   They need to stop remaking A Christmas Carol. The Muppets did it the best. Everyone else needs to sit down and move on

   If you’ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you’ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.

   Let me get this straight; a fat man who breaks and enters into my home, who steals all my Christmas cookies, is the one who judges if I'm naughty or nice?

   Well, it's July and almost 100 degrees. Walmart should be putting the Christmas stuff out any day now!

   Alright we got Christmas presents out the way where my W2 at