abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages
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Page: 8 of 11
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It's not flirting it's being extra nice to someone extra attractive!
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I am an Illegal! I came to take your job. But you don't have one to take!!!
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Sorry I was talking while you were interupting!
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How many divorced men does it atke to change a light bulb?......No one knows they never keep the house!
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If sex beteen three people is called a threesome, and between two people a twosome, I now understand why people call you handsome!!!
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Everyone seems Normal until you get to know them!!!
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I have yet to be intimidated by fancy wine lists thanks to my vast knowledge of fancy wines and my eeny, meeny, miny moe system!!!
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Man Rule #6......Men's Olympic Swimming events are the ''Only'' I repeat ''Only'' time speedo's are allowed!!!
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Before you judge me.......nmake sure you're perfect!
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No matter how old you are, how stiff, how brittle,you can always still put your foot in your mouth!!!
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While you are enjoying your BBQ's, cookouts, and family get togethers! Please remember what this Independence Day truly represents! Happy Birthday America! Still the greatest Country in the World!!
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Roses are Red! The Sun is Gold!....Now get on your knee's and do as you're told!!!
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1 tequila, 2 tequila,s 3 tequiklas, 4 teuiqlas, 5 teiuqlsd, 6 teiqulkss, 7 eteiqlas, 8 treqiklasl, 9 travquikas, 10 trewquwtss
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A paper boy said to a customer ''Mr Smith, I wish I had 20 customers like you!'' ''Wow thats ice to hear considering I never tip and always pay late.'' said Smith The paper boy said ''I know, that's why I'd like 20 customers like you, I have 150 right now
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I didn't post this status somebody else made it happen!!!
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Today is International Kissing Day!.....Who wants one?...Wait, let me put my teeth in First!!!
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Before ou diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not in fact surrounded by a$$holes!!!
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Avoid arguements about the toilet seat.........use the sink!!!
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Why a Beer is better than a woman! 1.A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another! 2. Pour your beer right and you always get good head! 3. You always know when youre the first to pop a beer! 4.You can have several beers in a night and not feel guilty
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Dude, I gave you a pen not a chew toy!
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