Eddy Funny Status Messages

   my New Year's resolution is to exercise (my right to be lazy)

   I see house flies in the house...horse flies near horses...so why do I never see dragon flies on episodes of Game of Thrones?

   Single Awareness Day ..... it's a S.A.D. day

   ego boost: put a bumper sticker on the car that says "honk if I'm sexy" & then drive very slow

   why don't people do a "taser challenge" next & see what its like for epileptic people to suddenly have your arms & legs moving around uncontrollably?

   in the future i'm gonna be telling my kids "back in my day we sat the DVD player on top of the tv"

   Why are some parents hypocritical..."don't lie to me or I'll tell SAnta on you"

   at the beginning of spongebob the captain guy says "i cant hear you"...the Verizon guy keeps saying "can you hear me now?"....i wonder if the 2 are on the phone together

   spoiler alert...tonight HBO dies

   watching "forensic files" & a commercial comes on about buying life insurance ... know your audience

   sometimes I wish life was like golf...id call MULLIGAN on some moments

   watching the charlie brown special...i think peppermint patty & marci are thankful for each other

   redneck word:debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate

   am I the only person watching Fuller House waiting for Bob Saget to tell the daughters how he met their mother?

   tonight we get to time travel & wont even need a delorean

   I wonder if Colorado or Washington girl scouts can make "special cookies" to sale along with the others

   facebook sucks for people with attention deficit....oooh, a comment

   some days you're the statue, some days you're the pigeon

   dear mosquitoes, ur not welcomed here just because the ligt's on...this isn't Motel 6

   ever wonder if someone trusts you? grab the hammer & say "hold the nail"