Dylan Bosch Funny Status Messages

   If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?"

   putting on his mistletoe belt buckle!" .

   Nothing pisses me off like a bird WALKING across a street. No it's cool. I'll wait. BTW You can FLY dumbass!

   wore my mistletoe belt buckle out last night. Met a girl with a mistletoe belly button piercing.. Wedding is next month."

   misses the good old days of giving a box of heart's saying I want to get down with you in so many words!"

   It's tough to judge nonverbal cues from someone with an eyepatch. Did that pirate just wink at me or are they blinking?"

   If you're wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don't google 'old man bond age'

   I'm a cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face

   Why do we say sorry even when they bumped into us? It's way funnier when people say "Excuse You" anyways.

   when you get pulled over for a D.U.I quickly pull off the lable off of the beer and stick it on ur forehead and tell the officer you havn't been drinking ur on the patch!"

   may not be the real Santa, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen you while you're sleeping."

   I loved once.. She was my first kiss, it was on the swingset in the park. Maybe someday she'll find me and we'll hook up again. Who Knows, Until then I'll keep chasing brunettes with big boobies."

   it's happened: I have developed real emotions for my iPhone. Actually, it's no surprise, because I was raised by a TV and a microwave."

   I feel sorry for people who don't drink; when they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

   I remember when I was younger "Friday the 13th" used to make think about Jason movies. Now all I can think about is "Do the bars have any specials today?"

   just wanted to let everybody know that she is Okay! I know it scared me on the radio when I first heard the rumors, But I Called her and she is fine.. My Grandma did not get run over by a Reindeer!"

   Brett Favre retired today, I'm not Worried about it too much. It's kinda like when Snoop Dog quit's weed. It really means nothing."

   Hi, I'm chucky! wanna play?"

   I'm not a fan of that show 'the Voice'.. Call me old fashioned but I just don't think somebody who f*cked up the National Anthem in front of millions of people should judge anybody."

   My dad once told me that, by definition, a leader is someone who has followers, and the more followers, the greater the leader. I think that was true right up until the advent of Twitter."