abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages
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Page: 6 of 11
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If I didn't have internet I'd be asleep 4hrs earlier every night!
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They should blast the Oscar Meyer Weiner Song non-stop into Jerry Sandusky's cell for the 400yrs he's in there!!!
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Let me in, Let me in, Let me in! I need to go back out again!----My Dog!
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I decorated my bedroom to look like a classroom so I can fall asleep faster!
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Dogs don't care if Bacon is crispy or not!
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Hey I found your nose! It was in everyone elses business again!!!
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Relax........Let's get back to the important things in life! Like stealing eachothers status!
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it poontang or puddingtang?.....I need to know real fast this English Composition is due today!!!
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During the opening Olympic ceramony I thought the Chinese uniforms looked pretty good!....And the ones worn by the Chinese team weren't too bad either!!!
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''Mommy does Barbie come with Ken?'' ......''No sweetheart she comes with G.I.Joe, she just fakes it with Ken!!!''
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When you are a kid, ''I'm going to tell your mom!'' is the scariest sentence ever!!!
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If I stop my car for you to walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knee's to chest b!tch , knee's to chest!!!
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At a Hotal a Man accidentally bumps into a Woman beside him and as he does his elbow touches her Brea$t. The man says ''Ma'am if your heart is as soft as your brea$t I know you'll forgive me!'' Her ''If your Pen!$ is as hard as your elbow I'm in room 436
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I'm not Crazy, I'm just a sane person trapped in the body of a Lunatic!!!
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16 and a Olympian > 16 and Pregnent
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If my Boobs sag any more people are going to think they are nuts!
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Women are just like cartons of Orange Juice! It's not the size or shape that matters. Or even how sweet the juice is. It's getting those Fking flaps open!!!
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There's no better feeling than proving someone wrong!
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If you want to be successful in life just tell yourself this each morning ''I am smart. intelligent, qualified. now if a job wuld just come available I'll get it!!!''
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Kris Humphries of the Nets signed a 2yr $24 Million Dollar contract! Not bad considering the Nets are owned by Jay-Z, who's bestfriend is Kanye West, who is banging Humphries ex-wife!!!
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