Eddy Funny Status Messages

   friends are like boobs...some are real, some are fake...sometimes its hard to tell the real ones from the fake ones

   strong winds on the east coast....not Hurricane Sandy...its just congress in Washingoton DC blowing air out their mouths

   the boss keeps talking about a company 401 k ..... I don't think I can run that far

   if Steve jobs invented the MAC computer, does that make him the original "Mac Daddy"?

   in England, "pounds" are money....im not fat, I'm rich

   a friend's kid accidentally stuck their cat in the dryer. my friend was all sad about it so I sung the sad song....soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.....the song didn't help at all

   the song "100 bottles of beer on the wall"...most not be much alcohol in them if you can keep track of 100 beers you've drank

   i keep getting all these popups...if this lasts 4 hours, I'm gonna have to visit WebMD

   if i'm not funny, amusing, or entertaining in any way there is no refund

   an earthquake on valentines night....somewhere someone thinks they were great in bed to their lover for a perfect ending on the holiday

   the dentist says I need a crown. I'm like "I know, right? "

   this new "space force" we're going to have....will basic training include making the kessel run in less than 12 parsecs

   forget senior discounts..Oj can get free stuff just buy saying something like "I'd kill to have some coffee right now"

   pro tip....today invest in buying Energizer & Duracell stocks

   when idiots do the "Tide pod challenge" & a friend records it, are they POD casting?

   idk who "go round" is but all the kids on the playground want to marry her

   When I see all these zoom video chat conferences, I think of the opening scene of "The Brady Bunch"

   every toddler is just a mini version of Jack Skellington... "what's this, what's this"

   people worry about their "summer body" but I've been working on my "winter weight" for years

   where's the CTRL, ALT and DELETE buttons on life?