Flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you have to ask "You know I'm saying?", you probably didn't make your point very effectively in the first place.
←Rate | 03-18-2012 05:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be much easier to get around town, if the highway wasn't jammed with broken heroes, on a last chance power drive.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 05:45 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife watches cooking shows constantly, I don't get it because her cooking isn't any better. I'm sure she feels the same way about me and porn.
←Rate | 10-16-2011 06:08 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your azz is as wide as an ax handle, you shouldn't be allowed to use "LMAO"
←Rate | 08-25-2011 18:56 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just stared in horror at the contents of my son's diaper & asked him why he's doing this to our family.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 06:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry I ran over your dog but in my defense I was texting! You're being awfully judgemental for a blind man
←Rate | 09-09-2011 19:01 by flinnie Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you bite the inside of your mouth by accident, you should be allowed to fire a shotgun at an old bus till you feel better.
←Rate | 02-25-2012 06:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if Charles is in Charge of our days and our nights, who's this God guy people are talking about?
←Rate | 05-22-2010 03:42 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since I can't get my illiterate coworker use spell check, I set his email signature to say "Sent from my phone, pardon any typos"
←Rate | 10-05-2011 06:00 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Vanilla Ice, how does one rock a mic like a Vandal? By sacking Rome?
←Rate | 05-08-2011 17:32 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a guy driving a beat up car with a bumper sticker that said "My other car is a Porsche ." Why isn't he driving that other car then?
←Rate | 08-20-2011 06:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so glad that the Subaru boxcar hobo commercial had a 'do not attempt' disclaimer. I was on the verge of a major lifestyle change
←Rate | 08-20-2017 18:37 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a scale from 1 to 10, how creepy was Slim Goodbody?
←Rate | 03-23-2012 09:19 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon In 9th grade coach said my sweater made me look gay. I replied good, as I wanted his wife to leave me alone. 'F' in gym.
←Rate | 04-06-2012 09:22 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how sometimes you accidentally drop food on the floor and eat it anyways? I just did that with soup
←Rate | 03-05-2012 04:58 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool me once, shame on my personal fool-stopper, Reginald.
←Rate | 04-29-2012 18:41 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can take off the sexy elf costume now....Steve.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 18:55 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Ugly Father's day tie, day!
←Rate | 06-18-2012 06:16 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon WARNING: If you forget Daylight Savings Time ends this weekend, you may come in early and inadvertently make Monday an hour longer.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 08:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gore Vidal's parents set the bar pretty high for baby namin'
←Rate | 11-15-2011 18:32 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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