Eddy Funny Status Messages

   i've been looking for the key to happiness....apparently it isnt on my keyboard or my phone

   every summer people try to work on their "summer body" ...i've been working on my winter body for years

   if prison is "behind bars" , why don't people cal l the warden the "bar tender" ?

   insider trading tip...tomorrow's Energizer & Duracell stocks go down some

   if a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?

   I find it ironic that Valentines Day is abbreviated as VD

   thought about being a gynecologist...i hear there's plenty of openings

   now when you go to a restaurant & say "im so hungry I could eat a horse" it might actually be on the menu

   i hope Boeing makes Romney a special plane with his windows that go down....its gonna be the short plane

   Cerebrospinal fluid (facebook asks what's on my mind)

   my package finally came today. this is awesome....it means I have bubble wrap to play with

   doc told me to walk around the block everyday. I'm gonna set a lego in the floor & be back in 5 seconds

   for Lent I'm giving up relationships...oh, nevermind, they gave up on me already

   a parent should never name the kid "Lana"...just in case the kid becomes dyslexic

   if you have to use a snapchat filter for over half of your Facebook pictures, you know you're ugly

   i'm thinking of becoming a gynecologist....i hear there's plenty of openings

   if people are trying to bring you down it only means you are above them

   you know gas prices are high when they stop the NASCAR race & are waiting for the price to go down before they restart the race

   you can call me "Han" cause I've been solo for so long now

   I put the Nicoderm patch on my exhaust pipe & it still smokes. I don't think those work as good as they claim