friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   guna name his daughter friday so I can take her to work with me on mondays and feel better about my day

   I live every day like it's Friday the 13th.

   4 horrible facts: Today is not Friday. Tomorrow is not Friday. The day after Tomorrow is not Friday. Even the day after that is not Friday.

   Today is Friday, December 13th. I can't tell you how relieved I am that Christmas isn't on Friday the 13th this year.

   Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you can bang his wife every weekend.

   My first class ticket to the weekend never arrived, so I went couch.

   Help control the pet population, eat at a Chinese restaurant this weekend.

   GF-So what are you doing on the 14th of february?BF: What day of the week it is?GF: Friday. BF:Leg's,Iam going to do leg's on Friday

   John Travolta’s cat gets very itchy for a few hours every weekend, because it’s got Saturday Night Flea Fur.

   With all the crowds of people there's going to be on Memorial Day weekend I'm not traveling, but not because of Coronavirus, I just don't like crowds.

   An 83-year-old male prostitute was arrested in New Jersey over the weekend. Police say he only charged $20 an hour, but for most of that time, he just talked about his grandkids.

   41 shot in NYC this past weekend, 77 in Chicago, 24 in Atlanta. But it's ok... no need for the media to report it. But here were no police officers involved.

   Damn, Girl. Are you Black Friday? 'Cause I'm wondering what your deal is.

   If you bought a fruitcake this past weekend, you have until March 2035 to eat it.

   Dear Black Friday: We all have big screen tvs. Put those groceries on sale.

   Inflation: Payback for all that free Trump money. Happy weekend!

   Jesus final words on Good Friday " Don’t eat my chocolate. I’ll be back Monday."

   I decided to beat Black Friday and start my Christmas shopping early. *Runs Amazon van off the road

   As the weekend approaches remember this, " A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure. ”

   The clocks go back this weekend. Hopefully back to when we could afford groceries.