Flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A fun way to freak out new parents on Facebook is to change your name to their baby's name & tag yourself in all of their baby's pictures.
←Rate | 03-07-2012 08:10 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Fabio finally believes its not butter?
←Rate | 06-08-2012 06:38 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking for a new job. One that I can sit at a long table, take off my glasses, and say "If your calculations are correct...my God have mercy on our souls" Pay negotiable
←Rate | 06-05-2011 20:08 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend. No one could imagine why he was my friend.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 06:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Son needed a topic for his science project and I suggested "A Science Project That Wasn't 100% Completed By Dad."
←Rate | 05-13-2015 05:26 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon We forget that it was Ben Franklin who said fish and guests smell after three days, and that Ben Franklin was a notorious guest murderer.
←Rate | 04-28-2012 07:05 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by how The Hulk speaks, he reacted badly to grammar rays as well.
←Rate | 05-31-2012 11:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Proving other people wrong with your success is pretty selfish. Proving everyone else right by failing miserably shows you've got class
←Rate | 03-01-2012 00:58 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dance like no one is watching or just stop dancing in public you weirdo.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 07:47 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always cry at the end of Shawshank Redemption because Andy never finished carving that chess set.
←Rate | 03-31-2012 07:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feminist must be so offended every time they need to use a restroom and see the figure on the door still wearing a dress.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 09:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My flyswatter is such a buzz kill
←Rate | 12-26-2011 18:38 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The new ending to Harry Potter is lame. He says Abra Cadabra and Steve Miller reaches out and grabs Voldemort.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 13:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Foot fetishes are for men who don't know what boobs are
←Rate | 09-06-2011 06:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, people who start stories with, "You're not gonna believe this!" Calm down. We'll probably believe it.
←Rate | 04-24-2012 09:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My biggest fear is getting stuck in a soundproof glass box. Not because I'd suffocate, but because people might think I'm a mime
←Rate | 03-23-2012 09:19 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its hard to work when the theme song to the Gummi Bears cartoon is running through your head
←Rate | 05-15-2011 05:47 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think women are born with the right to warm their cold toes on men.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People throw around the word "hero" too much. Use it for what it's for: a millionaire actor playing a disabled person.
←Rate | 02-27-2012 09:03 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Online jokes have really suffered in this ecomedy. (exhibit A)
←Rate | 03-09-2012 08:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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